


Realization

by rootsbeforebranches



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 07:56:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18442316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rootsbeforebranches/pseuds/rootsbeforebranches
Summary: Ellie is on a date with Boyd, but she can't help but think about Nick.





	Realization

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I don't really know how I feel about this fic or if I like it, but I decided to post it anyway.
> 
> I'm sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language.

Ellie was sitting across from Boyd in the restaurant, her elbow propped up against the table, chin resting on her hand, her stomach full after having eaten dinner.  
She could see that his lips were moving, but she was rather staring through him than actually looking at him, so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't hear what he was saying.

Her thoughts drifted off to a situation some time ago, remembering how she had confronted Nick in the bullpen about him canceling her date.  
He had used excuses at first, until later that day, he had finally apologized for it and admitted that he shouldn't have done it.  
In the end, Ellie hadn't cared that much about not having been on the date, one that she and Boyd had made good for the next day anyway.

What had bothered her more than that was that it had been a violation of her trust.  
She was glad that in the end he had at least seen reason and asked for forgiveness instead of trying to come up with some reasonable explanation why his action had been justified.

However, there was one thing that still bugged her quite a lot.  
Namely, his answer, or rather lack thereof, when she wanted to know why he canceled her date with Boyd without telling her.  
From the expression on his face, she quickly figured he wasn't gonna tell her the real reason and therefore chose to go home instead of waiting for him to man up and say the truth.  
When he called out her name and told her to wait as she was about to leave, hope rose in her once more, hope that maybe he would finally confess his feelings for her, feelings that she was sure he'd had for quite some time now.  
It wasn't like he was very unobtrusive about them, quite the opposite actually with his flirting and all, and he had actually started calling her by her first name rather than her surname more often, just like she did with him.

Needless to say, she had been disappointed when he chickened out again and just said goodnight.  
More disappointed than she had been about her canceled date.

That night after she got home, she had called Boyd and they rescheduled their date for the next evening. It had been a good way to get her mind off of Nick.

But now that she was sitting in the restaurant with him again, on their tenth date, wearing a beautiful red dress, her hair falling in waves, a slight layer of make-up on her face, she began to wonder if the only reason she started dating Boyd in the first place was because she was tired of waiting for Nick to admit his feelings, thinking he won't act on them, since she was convinced he was aware of their existence.

But did that mean that she had feelings for Nick as well? And how deep were they?  
She wasn't sure. Ellie had been trying to avoid and suppress her thoughts from going in that direction for quite some time now, even before she had started dating Boyd.  
On the one hand, because she knew he wouldn't act on them, and on the other hand because she wasn't sure if she'd be ready for a serious relationship with Nick, who wasn't just her co-worker, but also her friend, and she didn't want to take a risk and possibly ruin that.  
Another factor was rule 12 because while Ellie had actually had the guts to tell Gibbs that rule 10 was bullshit, she knew that wasn't -at least not entirely- the case for the rule that forbids them from dating a co-worker.  
Of course, dating someone you work with is never that good of an idea because it can complicate things and possibly change the team dynamic or even cause tension, so even if rule 12 didn't exist, dating someone on the same team still wasn't advisable, especially in their line of work.  
They needed to trust each other a hundred percent and they had to be sure the others have their back to be a well-functioning team and work together seamlessly.

But even so...what if she did actually have feelings for her black-haired friend?  
Ellie reminisced all the times Nick had made her laugh, teased her, supported her when she needed it, the time they spent together in their personal time, all the little comments and smiles and expressions on his face that had clued her in on how he felt about her.  
And she also remembered when she and Tim had been in the diner and Nick and Annie came in, apparently on a date, confusing her a little, maybe it had even bothered her a little that Nick went on a date with her. Just like she hadn't liked it when Nick had flirted with Jack's FBI friend or when he had hugged that woman from HR who had processed his new creds.  
And maybe the reason she didn't like Nick flirting with other women besides her was that she was actually jealous...

And that made her realize that she did indeed have feelings for Nick, more so than she had thought, or maybe that was because she had been suppressing them for a long time now, afraid of what having feelings for her friend could mean.

She lightly shook her head to stop her brain from overthinking things as it usually did, now actually looking at and listening to Boyd for the first time in the last 10 minutes probably.

She felt a little bad for not having listened to what he was telling her, as well as for what she was gonna do after their date, but she had made up her mind now.  
If Nick couldn't work up the courage to tell her how he felt on his own then maybe she needed to give him a little push and confront him about it.

She was tired of them dancing around each other, dancing around their feelings and trying to distract themselves, her by going out with Boyd and him by hooking up with random women that he met, which she knew because he tended to boast about his hookups every now and then.  
It was time to change all that, put a stop to it.

________________________________________________________________________________

 

After they had paid -or Boyd had, even though she'd said they could split the bill since she knew what she was gonna do as soon as they left the restaurant and didn't want to feel even more bad about it by having him pay- Boyd accompanied her to her car.

When she was standing by her truck at the driver's side, Boyd gave her a soft kiss on the lips, one that Ellie didn't return.  
She slowly pulled away and bit her lip as she looked up at his confused face.

''Boyd, listen...'' she started, widening the distance between them just a little by stepping back a foot. ''You're a great guy and all, but I just don't think this is working.''

That caused his brows to furrow into a frown, obviously irritated by what she had said.  
''What do you mean Ellie? I thought that everything was going well... That you were enjoying yourself during our time spent together,'' he slowly inquired.

When Ellie sighed and bit her lip, looking away from him at his question, Boyd remembered what she had said some time ago when one of their dates fell through.  
''Is it about that co-worker you told me about? The one you said canceled our date when he had your phone?'' he inquired, slightly narrowing his eyes.

That almost made Ellie regret having told him about the real reason they'd had to reschedule their fifth date instead of making up some lie.

But just like a few weeks ago, she couldn't bring herself to lie to him, he deserved to know the truth.  
''Yes...No,'' She said quickly, then adding ''Kind of...'' She shook her head and grimaced slightly at her own response.  
She let out a quick sigh once again, before finally looking him in the eye.  
''I don't know...It's not that easy to explain,'' she eventually told him, and that was all she was gonna say about this topic.  
She didn't want to explain to him in detail what had been going through her mind earlier in the restaurant, what she had finally figured out for herself.

Boyd just continued to look at her, a baffled expression on his face, clearly not understanding her sudden decision to not see him anymore.  
''Look, I'm sorry, Boyd, really. But I think ending things now is better than stringing you along when I have feelings for somebody else,'' she explained.  
When he didn't show any reaction to that, just continued to stare at her, his mouth formed into a little 'o', Ellie shot him an apologizing and guilty smile and got into her car.

She had somewhere to be.

________________________________________________________________________________

 

She drove the way to Nick's apartment building, all the while anxious and hopeful at the same time.  
In front of his door, she hesitated, took in a deep breath before she knocked, hoping he was home...  
And without female company.

While she waited for the door to open, Ellie nervously rocked from side to side on her feet, her heart hammering against her chest.

In reality, it only took Nick about 15 seconds to answer the door -Ellie may or may not have counted- but to her, it still felt like hours,

The moment he stood in front of her, a confused look on his face at finding her of all people in front of his door, knowing she was supposed to be on a date with Boyd because she'd told him so at work.

His bafflement was also distinguishable in his voice.  
''Ellie? What are you doing here?''  
He took in her appearance, his eyes roaming from top to bottom, taking notice of the makeup on her face, the tight dress she was wearing that perfectly complimented her body, and her exposed legs where the dress ended, causing his pupils to automatically dilate.  
He bit the inside of his cheek to stop any inappropriate thoughts from spiraling out of control and returned his gaze to her face.

She opened her mouth to respond, but the words she had prepared to say on the drive to his place died in her throat before she could say them.  
Instead, she simply stated ''We need to talk.''

Nick swallowed at her words, at her serious tone of voice, as well as the nervous expression on her face before he beckoned her to come in.

Ellie strode past him, coming to a halt in the living area and then turning around to Nick who came to stand in front of her after he had closed the door.

Contrary to Ellie who was dressed up to the nines, Nick was only wearing a loose hoodie and a pair of sweatpants, creating a stark contrast between their appearances.  
Well, at least that meant it was safe to assume that Nick hadn't been on a date before she came nor did he have any plans for that night.

''So, what's up?'' Nick carefully asked his partner, paying extra attention to her facial expression and body language.

''I uh, I was on a date with Boyd,'' she started, which caused Nick to suppress a grimace, not wanting to be reminded of that. It wasn't like he didn't have dates with a woman every now and then, but it was always casual, never serious, while she and Boyd had been on way too many dates for his liking.  
That just made him regret having chickened out when he'd had the opportunity to reveal his feelings for her when she had asked why he canceled her date.  
He should've just told her the truth instead of stupidly saying nothing other than ''goodnight'', he should have told her he had canceled her date because he was jealous, the reason for that being that he has very strong feelings for her and therefore didn't want or like her dating other men.  
He would even go as far as to say that he didn't just like her, he was actually pretty sure he was already in love with her and had been for a while.

But while her question back then had given him the opportunity to come clean, it still hadn't felt right, it would've felt and probably also kind of come across as him trying to sabotage the relationship she was starting to build with Boyd, and besides, she had seemed happy to date the guy.  
That being said, he also knew that while he had no qualms about breaking rules, he knew Ellie did, especially since she had broken rule 12 once already and that had ended badly.  
He had been sure she that even if she reciprocated his feelings, she would be hesitant, or even unwilling to risk entering a relationship with a co-worker -a friend- again and then have it possibly end like that once more.  
Especially since just like her, Nick was also a federal agent and thus in more danger of getting hurt or killed than a civilian.

However, seeing her standing in front of him now, like this, when she was supposed to be on a date with Boyd made him think that maybe they might have a chance.

He was so engrossed in his thoughts and hopes that he apparently missed parts of what she was saying.  
''But the whole time all that was on my mind was the question whether or not I have feelings for you because I'm jealous whenever you flirt with a woman and I don't like hearing about your one-night stands and to be honest I was disappointed when you didn't tell me the real reason for canceling my date with Boyd because I'm sure that you have feelings for me and I hate how we dance around each other the whole time,'' Ellie rambled on, the frustration she felt obvious in her voice, gesturing wildly with her hands, though she didn't look into his eyes.

Nick tried to interrupt her by calling out her name, but the blonde didn't seem to have heard it as she kept on babbling.

''So I thought if you are not man enough to say something then I will, because Nick,'' Ellie inhaled and exhaled deeply, finally calming down a little, her arms falling down to her sides before she finally focused her eyes on his.  
''If I'm right about your feelings for me, which I'm pretty sure I am, then I wanna tell you that I feel the same way about you,'' she softly told him, the inner corners of her eyebrows raised, her eyes hopeful.

Though Nick had sort of expected those words to come out of her mouth after what she said before, he was still somewhat surprised at actually hearing them, her actually saying them.  
For a few seconds, there was complete silence between them, both intently staring at each other.

A moment long Ellie thought her heart would jump out of her chest at the anticipation, and was worried that maybe her rapidly beating heart was loud enough for Nick to actually hear it, her mind running through all the possible worst-case scenarios, the worst outcomes her confession might result in.

But they were all thrown out of the window when Nick's hands grabbed her waist and pulled her toward him, and before she could think or respond in any way his lips landed on hers in a kiss.

It only took Ellie a second to come out of her frozen state, deepening the soft kiss into an all open-mouthed passionate kiss as her arms interlocked behind his neck, one of her hands gently stroking through the short hairs at the back of his head while he drew her even closed to him so that their chests were pressed against each other.

This was what both of them had been wanting for a long time.


End file.
